December 19, 2006
A friend hugged me the other day and it brought back a fond memory from my childhood. Yeah, a friend hugged me the other day and the feeling of her short prickly hair as it brushed my cheek brought back a fond memory from my childhood.
One day when I was three, maybe four, I think it was in the fall, my dad was getting ready to go somewhere. I don’t know where but maybe he was getting ready to go out with Mom, because he shaved, and he was cheerful, and playful. This is a side of my dad that I am not used to seeing. It was fun to watch him this way. My dad shaved, afterward he slapped on some aftershave - Aqua Velva.
While my dad was shaving, my mom sat me on the kitchen counter. I’m not sure why she did this; it was out of character as well. So when my dad finished shaving and slapping on aftershave, he came out of the bathroom and into the kitchen with a big playful smile on his face. He touched his hands to my face to rub on a bit of the aftershave left on his hands and he pressed his cleanly shaven cheek against mine.
I could feel the roughness of this cheek and smell the Aqua Velva on his hands and face and I liked it because my dad was being playful with me. But it made me squirm and my mom pushed him away. I think she thought he was being too rough with me. He wasn’t being too rough, it was because I wasn’t used to such closeness from my dad that I squirmed.
Then he was done and he left to do something else but I wanted to call him back and ask him to do it again because it was nice the way I felt when my dad touched me on the face and rubbed his cheek against mine. I wanted him to take me in his arms and lift me off the counter and simply hold me. I wanted him to come back and hold me to his chest and let me breathe in his smell and just feel safe in his arms. But he didn’t, and I didn’t know it was ok to want to be held by one’s father. So I didn’t ask.
As I sit here rereading this, I realize my face is wet with tears and perhaps this doesn’t sound so much like a fond memory. But it is, it’s a memory of my dad being playful with me - it’s a good memory of my father.
A friend hugged me the other day and the feeling of her short prickly hair on my cheek brought back a fond memory from my childhood.
Deborah DoMH!